Things you need to be cool....

The pre-claimer to this post is that I do not see myself as cool.  I am stocky, spotty, outspoken but shy, self conscious and intimidated by people who are either better looking than me, thinner than me, smarter than me or more successful than me: this means I am intimidated by just about everyone!


But....


I am beginning to understand cool - a bit...


A friend of mine has been struggling to find her coolness after having kids. She is GORGEOUS, has great hair, great skin and has such a great personality that people want to get to know her more. To me, she has so many things about her that are cool. But she just doesn't see it *sigh*....


Now, let me explain that cool is a combination of things. It is attitude, personality, life experience and then it is outward appearance. So, my dear friend has the first few things down pat. Her attitude is amazing - she will try anything and gives her heart to things that mean a lot to her. She has a great bubbly, quirky personality as previously mentioned. She has had a great deal of life experience from study to having babies to helping kids with stoopid names in some weird way out schools. Basically, I am proud to know her and learn more about grace and kindness every time I have a chat with her.


But still, she feels uncool. And I have surmised that it is her outward appearance she is struggling with.  The other night I suggested she throw out (literally) every item of clothing that she either doesn't like, is really old or doesn't fit quite right - to which she said she would then be walking around naked (not cool in the 'dropping kids off to school' kind of set).


So, for my lovely locked friend, and anyone else out there who is trying to regain some cool, here are some things for you to think about that I have learnt over the past 10 years or so.... Get right back to basics and think through the following things....

• Determine what  'look' are you going for? Like; hippy, conservative, boho, biker, sporty, classic etc.
• Work out which colours suit you?  Think about seasons such as; Summer = aqua, yellow, blues, oranges etc; Autumn = browns, greens, greys etc.
• What items in your wardrobe make you feel good? What items could you not live without? I could not live without jeans, t-shirts and shirt dresses....
• What are the best parts of your body are worth accentuating? I have a waste and I like my hair .... that is where I start every time I have to think about buying items for my wardrobe.

To become cool is about discovering yourself and then investing time into learning more about yourself and your style. Oh, and get your hands on anything written by Trinny & Susannah - a good place to start....

Here are some quotes to get you started on your 'Cool Quest'...

You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition.  What you'll discover will be wonderful.  What you'll discover is yourself.  
Alan Alda (I know that Alan Alda is Hawk-eye from M.A.S.H - but you know.....)

The most beautiful thing in the world is, precisely, the conjunction of learning and inspiration. Oh, the passion for research and the joy of discovery! 
Wanda Landowska




May the cool force be with you.....


Coming up next time on bbeingcool - Rules for Shopping

Style Vs Cool - A Pictorial Introduction...

According to the Style Scout in London - the following two images are of 'stylish' people.....

I think that if I walked out of my bedroom dressed like this, Mr Cool would spit espresso out of his nose and Miss 3 would run into the playroom to play dress ups as well. I do not think this is cool and I am now puzzled as to what constitutes 'style'.


There is a very cool blog called, 'What I Wore Wednesday' - which, as the name suggests, is where people send in photos to the website 'The Pleated Poppy' of, you guessed it, what they wore on a ... ahem... Wednesday. I wish oh wish oh wish I had come up with this blessedly cool idea...


There are pages after page after page of cool outfits and deliciously cute shoes..... I could have chosen a squidzillion pictures of cool - but I picked out these few as examples - feel free to click on over and check out more outfits.... 

I know that these outfits tick boxes of where I am at at the moment. I look for clothes that are cute, functional and can carry through from dropping kids to school, going out for coffee (because I do that ALL the time, pfft....) and to popping into the shops. I like a bit of quirk, a lot of colour and, of course, great shoes.


But, cool is also about personality I think and I guess I appreciate when someone can dress to show their personality without having to stand out and raise eyebrows. I also like it when things match.... I can't avoid that.


I am going to continue to explore the difference between 'Cool' and 'Style'. I am not looking for a Nobel Prize people, it is nice for brain to have a chew toy.... 

Tips on Being a Cool Person

I stumbled upon this a while ago and really, it says all I could possibly want to....  


Tips on Being Cool
- Do not care about what people think of you. Most of us are always concerned about what other people think of us. Remember that it’s not possible to please everyone. So, it is better if you live your life the way you like, rather than bothering about the world.


- Though you should be immune to other people’s opinion about you, you should keep a check on how they perceive you. This might sound contradictory, but carries significance. Being cool is all about learning how to perceive yourself better. With regard to physical appearance, beware of bad breath, body odor, etc. In terms of body language, stand/sit up straight, look and feel confident, smile generously, do not stare, etc.


- Present yourself in the most comfortable and confident way. While interacting with people, make sure to maintain a good posture and look them in the eye. For acquiring the respect of others, you need to look and feel positive.


- Find real friends and stay in their company. Real friends respect you for what you are and cherish the time spent with you, making you feel positive and happy.


- Don't shy away from being different, whether it means standing up for yourself, defending someone else or taking interest in something that no one else dares to do. People who break against the tide and question the status quo are quite often regarded as the coolest.


- Speak your mind. Cool people usually speak confidently and clearly, that too with a good pace. However, this does not mean chattering uselessly. Make sure you say what you mean and vice versa. Be confident about what you speak and don't bother if people disagree with your opinion. - At times, it is good to be respected for what you believe in.


- Cultivate the habit of laughing at yourself. Remember being cool essentially states finding humor in moments of clumsiness and discomfort. You will not only gain respect for it, but people will like you for being so earthly.


- Another thing to be remembered is that for being cool, one should create his own identity. Find your talent in terms of sports, music, art and the like and pursue it with excellence. --- - Being known for your passion is certainly deemed cool.


- Being cool is all about staying relaxed and comfortable in any and every situation. If at times you do feel vulnerable, and end up losing your temper, bursting into tears or losing control, take a deep breath and mellow down. Don't be disruptive and annoying or have unpredictable mood changes. Your serenity and steadfastness shows your coolness.


- Be friendly and social, but not excessively eager and clingy. It’s good to be outgoing, but do not be overly excited. Do not force yourself on people. Smile and be genuine.


Taken from - iloveindia.com

Cool Website: Urban Dictionary

 The Urban Dictionary is very cool.  I love the colloquial language it uses.  Just for interest sake - (hmmmm... not sure if reading a dictionary is technically 'cool') - I looked up 'cool'.  Here is what is says...

The best way to say something is neat-o, awesome, or swell. The phrase "cool" is very relaxed, never goes out of style, and people will never laugh at you for using it, very conveniant for people like me who don't care about what's "in." Homestar is cool. The Red Sox are cool. Twinkies are cool. A word to use when you don't know what else to say, or when you are not that interested in the conversation. Sometimes, it can be used when you do not have any knowledge of the subject, yet you want to act as if you know-it-all. Mary: "I saw a very cute kitten just now!"  An adjective referring to something that is very good, stylish, or otherwise positive. It is among the most common slang terms used in today's world. Your computer is very cool. Okay, so according to this, I have a ways to go to being cool.  Although, I can relate to the second definition - I really don't know a lot about things, so the word 'cool' is quite common in my vernacular. Some words from the Urban Dictionary that I am going to work at making cool are: Numpty Writering You wastin' my minutes  (This one is a wee bit naughty, but thought I could add it to my teacher repetoire of sayings - alongside, "Well, that is five minutes of my life I will never get back".) I just love words, if you find any other funny words in the Urban Dictionary - I would love to check them out....  Oooh, ooh, just found another word for you to check out.... 'a crapella'  tee hee heee......

Madly trying to be cool....

I have always wanted to be cool. As a child I used to dream of leaving my life, moving to somewhere glamourous and returning to my roots .... cool. You know the 'right' sunglasses, fabulous shoes, just the right haircut and clothes that made others wish bad things against you. Unfortunately, I was raised by parents who by their own definition thought they were cool and I really thought they were cool. I thought it was cool that my dad wore scuff sandals with long socks to church, I thought it was cool that my mum used to wear tartan trousers...... Where is the foundation for hope for someone who dreams of being cool?

Some of this tale is true... I did leave my home town, moved to the Sunshine Coast (pretty cool) then moved to London (very cool) and then returned to my hometown. Was I glamourous? Was I hip? No, I was pregnant.... A lovely friend described me as a Walvus Vrouw, he kindly looked up a Dutch dictionary to find just the right words to call me a Whale Woman in my parent's native tongue. Not cool, at this point.

I have since been on a journey of discovering who I am, again. Things do change once you have had kids... Size changes (down for me, ha ha ha), budget changes and of course, fashion changes. I am trying to work out how to not only be cool, but happy and how to make this contagious. Thus, this blog. I want to share my quest for coolness and how life turns one's best intentions a-about.