Things you need to be cool....

The pre-claimer to this post is that I do not see myself as cool.  I am stocky, spotty, outspoken but shy, self conscious and intimidated by people who are either better looking than me, thinner than me, smarter than me or more successful than me: this means I am intimidated by just about everyone!


But....


I am beginning to understand cool - a bit...


A friend of mine has been struggling to find her coolness after having kids. She is GORGEOUS, has great hair, great skin and has such a great personality that people want to get to know her more. To me, she has so many things about her that are cool. But she just doesn't see it *sigh*....


Now, let me explain that cool is a combination of things. It is attitude, personality, life experience and then it is outward appearance. So, my dear friend has the first few things down pat. Her attitude is amazing - she will try anything and gives her heart to things that mean a lot to her. She has a great bubbly, quirky personality as previously mentioned. She has had a great deal of life experience from study to having babies to helping kids with stoopid names in some weird way out schools. Basically, I am proud to know her and learn more about grace and kindness every time I have a chat with her.


But still, she feels uncool. And I have surmised that it is her outward appearance she is struggling with.  The other night I suggested she throw out (literally) every item of clothing that she either doesn't like, is really old or doesn't fit quite right - to which she said she would then be walking around naked (not cool in the 'dropping kids off to school' kind of set).


So, for my lovely locked friend, and anyone else out there who is trying to regain some cool, here are some things for you to think about that I have learnt over the past 10 years or so.... Get right back to basics and think through the following things....

• Determine what  'look' are you going for? Like; hippy, conservative, boho, biker, sporty, classic etc.
• Work out which colours suit you?  Think about seasons such as; Summer = aqua, yellow, blues, oranges etc; Autumn = browns, greens, greys etc.
• What items in your wardrobe make you feel good? What items could you not live without? I could not live without jeans, t-shirts and shirt dresses....
• What are the best parts of your body are worth accentuating? I have a waste and I like my hair .... that is where I start every time I have to think about buying items for my wardrobe.

To become cool is about discovering yourself and then investing time into learning more about yourself and your style. Oh, and get your hands on anything written by Trinny & Susannah - a good place to start....

Here are some quotes to get you started on your 'Cool Quest'...

You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition.  What you'll discover will be wonderful.  What you'll discover is yourself.  
Alan Alda (I know that Alan Alda is Hawk-eye from M.A.S.H - but you know.....)

The most beautiful thing in the world is, precisely, the conjunction of learning and inspiration. Oh, the passion for research and the joy of discovery! 
Wanda Landowska




May the cool force be with you.....


Coming up next time on bbeingcool - Rules for Shopping

A cool thing happened in a book exchange....

You know when things happen in a way that you hadn't planned, and you just decide to roll with it and then something cool happens?


On a Saturday morning a few months ago, I found myself standing in my local book exchange, exchanging some books I didn't want any more. I had spoken to the owner of the shop earlier in the morning who recommended I bring the books in that day as it was their busiest and they usually sold quite a few of the books I was wanting to be rid of.  So, there I stood.... in my best cleaning clothes, wet hair, no make-up and green Havaianas (still some cool there, I suppose).


I was greeted by a lady who worked in the exchange who was kinda vaguely familiar. We quickly established we had known each other through Weight Watchers. She laughed saying how funny it is that so many people fall of the Weight Watchers wagon, it was then that I told her I had only VERY recently had a baby and she promptly stopped laughing (grmph). We chatted some more about what things we had been up to, travel we had done, we talked about our kids and a few other things, then I got down to the business of looking for some fabulous books I would not have time to read.


I wandered into the section housing classics, travel tales and health books (scarily near the 'sealed' section mind you). A lady I hadn't noticed, recommended a book on travelling with children, she had obviously overheard my conversation with my Weight Watcher buddy. We laughed and shared a few pleasantries. Before I knew it, we were talking about travel and Paris and life and I was struck by what an interesting lady I had just bumped into.


Let's call her, 'Julie'.... Julie recommended a book called, 'The Piano Shop on the Left Bank' by T.E Carhart. She said she reads it every year. It turns out Julie reads A LOT of books and especially books set in and about Paris. She recommended a few other books about Paris, of course, and told me that one day she would love to go there. Me being me, gushed and said, "Oh, you HAVE to go, it is the most amazing place blah blah blah blah de blah...." To which she explained that one day she would like to, but life hadn't worked out the way she had thought and she now found herself a widow and wondering what the future held.


From there we chatted about life and travel and, of course, books. Then Julie explained how much she loves photographic books on Paris, especially a photographer called, Carla Coulson. Then, she stopped and looked at me. She said she had a pile of books about Paris, including, 'Paris Tango' a book by aforementioned Coulson, that she would love to give me. I, of course, said, 'Oh, you really don't have to do that!' But, she insisted. I was really going to dig my heals in, but I thought, 'You know what, how often do you meet a lovely lady in a bookstore who would like to give away some of her books? Just go with it and see what happens.'  So I did. I told her where I lived and she said she would drop the books around later.


When she arrived, it was like inviting an old friend in for a visit. Not only did she bring, 'Paris Tango' she also brought a collection of travel tales set in Paris, more photographic books and some 'Good Reading' magazines. It was such an extravagant gesture, I was blown away.  I had to ask her in and introduce her to my family, this kind of meeting does not happen every day afterall.  Mr Cool and the kids were having lunch outside and Julie engaged in conversation so easily and was lovely to the girls. She told us more of her life story and was just so easy to talk to.


When she left (Cool Baby was hungry and we were due to go and look at a piano), Mr Cool and I both agreed we had just met a really amazing lady.  I wonder why I ended up in that book exchange on that rainy Saturday afternoon?  I wonder why things happened the way that they do? I wonder if it was just a chance meeting, or if more is going to happen....?


I have since emailed her to see how she was going. She is travelling at the moment, but was very keen to accept my invitation to come for dinner with the promise of Tarte Tartin, when she returns.  You can never have too many well read people in your life I say! 

Cool things about living in a small town....

As UN-cool as it feels sometimes, living in a small town has its perks.....


- people in the grocery shop say, "Bless you!" when you sneeze
- men in the shops will run after a lady with a baby in a pram to return a lost frilly lacy sock
- you can leave for school 20 minutes before the first bell and know that your 5 year old can still get a go on the monkey bars before class
- inevitably you can run into someone in the shops who a) you know and b) is free for a chat & a coffee
- you can pick up a sleeping baby, pop him in the car, drop kids at school, drive home and then pop him back into bed for more sleep for another hour or so
- friends live no more than 10 mins away (unless they live way out of town and then a cut lunch is needed ;0)
- I can call my mum at 2:30pm to see if she can pop into to mind two sleeping kids so I can go and pick up Miss 5 and still be early enough to get a car park at school
- a bigger more exciting city is only 1 1/2 hours away
- the hospital, shopping centre, cinemas and good restaurants are only 5 minutes away
- friends and sisters are always around for spontaneous craft nights, coffee nights, lunches, shopping trips and other random get togethers

For there to be cool .... there needs to be UN-cool. Neighbours.

Newton's Third Law of Motion says that, 'For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction'. 


This concept can be found in the coolness realm also.  For there to be cool, there must be uncool.

I think we live next door to the most uncool neighbours on the planet.  They drive me bonkers. They are so totally uncool, it is bloggable. What makes neighbours uncool? Let me give you my list...

1) They don't mow the lawn until they lose their big boof head dogs in the foliage (or a rental inspection is due - whichever comes first)

2) They leave exterior lights on for weeks on end. This is killing our environment and spills light into our cosy house

3) They drive along our footpath to park their bomby cars on their front lawn (this however, does hamper thier grass growth)

4) The 'lady' of the house wears g-strings, precarious bras, stretchy pants and has a wobbly belly, she likes to bend over to pat the dogs (Shudder.....)

5) The 'men' of the house were dealing drugs we thinks. After I called the cops about a domestic dispute and mentioned they were fighting over who owed who how much for the mull, the men left pretty smartly never to be seen again (How many jerry cans is a reasonable number to carry at any one time? These guys had dozens..... Hmmmmm *puzzled look*)

6) The 'lady of the house' doesn't leave the house for days and days on end. There really is no crime here, it is just a bit creepy.  What do you think she does inside all day? Watch Oprah and Dr Phil or is she a Bold & The Beautiful Type? Eat butter straight from the container? Snip things up with scizzors? Train fleas? She doesn't wash often, I know this because when I jump on our trampoline, I can see into their yard at the top of my bounce, and there is never washing on the line. If she just left the house, I could see what kind of state she is in....

7) Once the dodgy dope dealers moved out, we were very relieved, they were seedy lads indeed.  We figured surely she couldn't afford the rent on a dumpy house in a fabulous street with totally cool and groovy neighbours on her own

8) Indeed she couldn't - she excelled herself on the uncoolness spectrum.... She filled the dumpy house in a lovely leafy street with a gaggle of young male uni students. Sigh.

Is folding laundry cool?

I don't often get the chance to watch Oprah anymore. But the other day, I managed to have two small cool people in bed and a smidgen of time to sit and eat my lunch, so I thought I would see what cool things she was up to.

The show was all about Martha Stewart and crafty kinds of things. Now, I am not a big fan of Martha myself. I mean she seems a little.... I dunno.... lacklustre to me. She makes everything look so easy, but I get the impression she has an army of crafty assistants who buzz around getting things ready and she just hot glues the bits together at the end and grabs the glory. And she has been to prison, not cool.

But - she showed how to fold a fitted sheet. Oh my goodness, THAT was cool! I mean, my linen cupboard is not too bad; I keep all my sheets folded and kept in their pillow cases so as to keep things organised and I have all my face washers stacked neatly. But I have to admit that folding fitted sheets is a pain. I used to adopt the method I shall call the, 'Scrunch Arrange and Roll' method. It got the job done. But Martha's method means you can fold down the sheet to be the same length and width of a folded pillow case. Very cool!

Take a look at Martha's Link Here...



I know that to some people,  keeping an organised and clean home is not cool. But... I have realised just recently that being organised and tidy actually gives me more freedom. I am free to invite people over at the drop of a hat. I am free to go out more and not feel I have to stay at home to clean. I try to not let things get so untidy that it takes a huge amount of time to get on top of again.

I saw a quote a long time ago (that a dear friend has since used against me) that said, 'A well dusted house is the sign of a wasted life.' Sigh... It is all about balance I guess.  But, my motto for the year is 'Peeps first.' I am due to dust again next Thursday - anyone for coffee?

B

Tips on Being a Cool Person

I stumbled upon this a while ago and really, it says all I could possibly want to....  


Tips on Being Cool
- Do not care about what people think of you. Most of us are always concerned about what other people think of us. Remember that it’s not possible to please everyone. So, it is better if you live your life the way you like, rather than bothering about the world.


- Though you should be immune to other people’s opinion about you, you should keep a check on how they perceive you. This might sound contradictory, but carries significance. Being cool is all about learning how to perceive yourself better. With regard to physical appearance, beware of bad breath, body odor, etc. In terms of body language, stand/sit up straight, look and feel confident, smile generously, do not stare, etc.


- Present yourself in the most comfortable and confident way. While interacting with people, make sure to maintain a good posture and look them in the eye. For acquiring the respect of others, you need to look and feel positive.


- Find real friends and stay in their company. Real friends respect you for what you are and cherish the time spent with you, making you feel positive and happy.


- Don't shy away from being different, whether it means standing up for yourself, defending someone else or taking interest in something that no one else dares to do. People who break against the tide and question the status quo are quite often regarded as the coolest.


- Speak your mind. Cool people usually speak confidently and clearly, that too with a good pace. However, this does not mean chattering uselessly. Make sure you say what you mean and vice versa. Be confident about what you speak and don't bother if people disagree with your opinion. - At times, it is good to be respected for what you believe in.


- Cultivate the habit of laughing at yourself. Remember being cool essentially states finding humor in moments of clumsiness and discomfort. You will not only gain respect for it, but people will like you for being so earthly.


- Another thing to be remembered is that for being cool, one should create his own identity. Find your talent in terms of sports, music, art and the like and pursue it with excellence. --- - Being known for your passion is certainly deemed cool.


- Being cool is all about staying relaxed and comfortable in any and every situation. If at times you do feel vulnerable, and end up losing your temper, bursting into tears or losing control, take a deep breath and mellow down. Don't be disruptive and annoying or have unpredictable mood changes. Your serenity and steadfastness shows your coolness.


- Be friendly and social, but not excessively eager and clingy. It’s good to be outgoing, but do not be overly excited. Do not force yourself on people. Smile and be genuine.


Taken from - iloveindia.com

New Year's Goals

I love, love, love writing lists. Shopping lists, jobs lists, lists of phone calls to make, bills to pay, things to organise, lists lists lists are my favourite! Infact, as I sit here, I am writing a list of things to write about for the blog. Long lists of ideas... Love it.

I remembered that I have written my favourite kind of list a few weeks ago. My New Year's Goal list. This is my list of things to ensure I am moving forward. I like to know I have pursued something new and something interesting throughout the year. I hate the word 'resolution' it is too.... resolute. Rather, I like the word 'goal', it gives the picture of aiming for something.

Here are my 2011 Goals (insert daaa-daaaaa music here)

MR COOL

1) More dates

2) Weekly "Meetings" to discuss ... stuff!

KIDS

1) Swimming lessons

2) Piano lessons

3) More friends over to play

SOUL

1) Keep a prayer journal

2) Read 10 books of the bible

3) More reflection time with Mr Cool

4) Learn to play piano
5) Read min 15 novels

BODY

1) Get to my WW goal weight by my birthday

2) Run 10km at the Gold Coast Marathon weekend

FRIENDS

1) Don't lose touch with Mrs Style & Grace and Mrs Writes & Amazes

2) Fortnightly girlie time with my peeps

3) More time with my sisters

WRITING

1) Write a blog post once a week for all the blogs I write for....

2) Get more things published around the place

HOUSE

1) Keep an indoor plant alive

2) Paint and mould-treat the inside of all wardrobes

3) Plant a vegetable garden

4) Get gardens established

FINANCE

1) Track finances better (at all would be a start!)

2) Save up for a family holiday

3) Be better at filing and organisation

CRAFT

1) Get scrapping girlie - I am now years behind!

2) Sew more clothes 

3) Learn to put in a zipper

4) Learn more crochet stitches

COOKING

1) Make Tarte Tartin

2) Make Creme Brulee

3) More cooking with the girls

4) Blog photos once a week

I know this seems like a lot. But it helps me to stay balanced and to remember the important things in my life. I am excited about this year and look forward to working at being content. Because that is cool.

TIme to be cool...

Well, it has been a while since my last blog post.  What I started with trepidation, got some momentum and then ... life got busy and then I kinda ran out of steam.

I know I have not ended my quest for cool, but I never really realised that to pursue cool would require constant vigilance and dedication to the cause.

However, after spending the morning people watching, I had a bit of a revelation. Cool is something that just is. I know this sounds kind of dumb.  I watched a young mum with three very hip children and she looked so cool:  fab sunglasses, truly cute hair, great jeans, funky sparkly flats and a groovy striped cardigan. She just looked so well put together (is that the correct English?) - but she was also handing out wipes, cleaning faces, giving out lollipops and taking her little ones to the loo, just normal 'mummy' things to do.

But what set her apart from the crowd?  It was the way she looked so cool without really trying - her outfit did not look pretentious, it looked as if she had just rummaged through her wardrobe and dressed for comfort and practicality - which I think is cool.  What I realised is - if items are chosen carefully and not impulsively - then your chances of hitting 'cool' is pretty good.

I know a lot of my friends are great at this, cool sneakers, cool jeans, great colours etc. I need to remember this and not grab t-shirts and things on sale just because they are on sale. Sometimes sale items are just that because no-one wants them - which is not cool.

I am also trying to not get bogged down in thinking that cool should cost money. We are now on a single income again, thanks to a gorgeous little round person who is currently nappy in his cot. But, I will not let this stop me from pursuing coolness.  I am also not going to think that cool is to be achieved only by the very young and hip. Surely, surely, I can achieve a bit of coolness in my (ahem) early thirties? Surely there is cool enough for everyone?

So the pursuit of cool continues. I have finished up work for a while and look forward to more chances to work on my blogs and get stuck into meeting some new blogging friends out there.

Hoorah, let me know of any cool things out there for me to do/think/read/pursue etc.... I need all the help I can get!

The Coolest Thing

I  had a really cool weekend recently.  We had to be in BrisVegas for a variety of reasons and the bonus was we got to spend some time with good friends who had recently moved away from our friendly clutches.

I could list the things we did like; markets, brunch, watching old movies, eating cake and just hanging out...  But that wasn't the coolest part of our weekend.  The coolest thing was, I finally worked out what the coolest thing in the world is..  It is friends.

Yup, that simply:  it is friends.  People who share the journey of life and voluntarily stand on the side lines and cheer you on.  Now family is cool too, but they HAVE to love you - warts and all - that is their function, but friends, they don't HAVE to do anything, but they do, I love that.

I have an amazing little snatch of friends.  I hold onto them dearly.  We were thrust together by a haphazard coffee morning and have been inseparable since.  We have shared so much life together, that I think we are now permanently linked together, threads in each others' tapestries of life.  I could not imagine my life without them.

I have been going through a tough couple of months, for a variety of reasons, which are not cool to go into here.  Basically, I am always wishing I was better, thinner, smarter, healthier, smilier etc etc, but these three women in my life (and you know who you are, you gorgeous things) just accept me and listen and love me, and I think that is cool. Through my friendship with these three gorgeous women I have become a much better mother, wife, cook, friend, teacher ... well person really. I am so grateful that they are in my life.

But it is not just my relationship with these three women that give my life its coolness. I have lots of friendships and they all have their degrees of coolness; Friend #435 and I meet once a month for 'prayer' - our husbands think we just talk (pfft what would they know!), Friend #653 and her gorgeous family, share Easter with us every year and we have many catch ups through the year, Friend #198 lives in London and although she is oceans away, text messages and emails keep us in touch, Friend #878 is quite new to my friend list and is so refreshing in her quirky and thoughtful ways it challenges the way that I think and Friend #651 has grown children but shares her life stories and experiences with me.

I love that I have discovered the coolest thing in the world.  I also love that it is free, environmentally friendly, decomposes, comes in pretty packaging, sustainable, non-poluting and energy efficient.  But more important than all of that it is renewable; it will just keep going on and on.

Then and now.... A Review of 60s Advertising

I had a great chat with my mother-in-law (MIL) the other day about make-up, clothes and hair, it was fun to hear her stories and really interesting to hear her beauty routines, in fact, I may even do a blog about it soon.  I have always been intrigued by the era when my mum and MIL were young women, it seems as if they lived in a time with a different set of social rules and expectations.  I love to compare different times in history to guage how much things have changed - is this dorky? 

Make-up and appearance have always been important to my MIL, as a young woman she would read magazines and make lists of items she would like to add to her wardrobe and what colours of eyeshadow and lipstick she was going to wear for each season (she actually still does this).  My MIL said that when she began working she knew she had 'arrived' when she was able to purchase Lemon Delph Toner and Revlon Foundation.  I wondered what it was about these products that appealed to her, so I started researching - I do love a good topic I can research....  I found a marvellous vintage ad website called Vintage Ad Browser - it is very cool - some of the ads are hilarious!  


I don't think I realised the 1960s were quite so glamourous....








They even made home appliances glamourous.....





Although tvs were HUGE!








Food seemed space aged - with colours and flavourings being big selling features....








Clothes were fabulous...  How cute are these dresses!





Hair was a bit scary....





As for underwear - yipes!

Make up was sophisticated and beautiful....

There are also hundreds of ads for cigarettes and feminine hygiene products, clearly something that was needing glamourisation....  Thought it best not to add them to this photo gallery... 

This project has really changed the way I view two women in my life who have shared their stories, given advice and helped me to realise the importance of my role of wife, mother and woman.... I love that my mum and my mother -in-law have kept a lot of the values of the 1960s but have adapted, changed, learned how to be true to themselves in these modern times.... In a way, doing this project, I am not as scared of getting older. I wonder what my girls will think of this ad in 30 years time....

  

 

Is this cool?

Homesick for London - sigh.....

I am having one of those days.... My poor husband has had to go out running to get some distance from me, my sighing is driving him nuts.  I am homesick for a place I lived in for 18 months, nearly 7 years ago....amazing, exciting, ever changing London. These were my glory days, the days of cool, the days of opportunities.....

Our life was so fun back then.  We would slog it out at work for the week and start planning our weekends on Tuesdays.  If we were staying 'in town', we would aim to see a museum, a gallery, have a fabulous coffee and end up either walking along the Thames or braving the pick-pockets on Oxford Street for some great shopping.  Or we would poke around Covent Garden and have a pasty, or Harrod's for hot chocolate or Notting Hill Markets for Chilli - food seemed to be our focus back then!  We would arrive home exhausted and dusty from a day hopping on and off Tubes or walking around Hyde Park, in time to watch CSI Miami with take-away in hand.

If we were heading 'out of town', such as Paris, Brussels, Rotterdam or Stratford-Upon-Avon, we would get up early, have a 'Little Chef' or Tesco or airport breakfast and spend the day following our feet from coffee shops to fashions shops to museums to galleries to pubs and then start over again.  It was great.

When we went to a museum or art gallery, we had a set plan that was not deviated from.  Firstly, we would get a map from the information counter, then head straight to the coffee shop.  While scoffing cakes and coffee, we would decide which things we would like to see and cross reference these with the Lonely Planet guide, which took more time, so therefore more coffee would have to be purchased.  We then worked our way through the displays only seeing the things that really interested us.  This tradition became quite a sport, in fact, when we went to the Rijks Museum in Amsterdam we only had a small window of time to look around, so we decided to use the Museum's Guide of the Top 10 things to see.  This resulted in us sprinting through the galleries, much to the delight of large groups of children on school trips.  Night Watch by Rembrandt- Check, Famous Doll Houses - Check, Funny mummified things - Check.  It was a hoot!  I am determined to get back there one day to do the museum justice, it is magnificent and I am sure well worth a more measured approach to looking around.

I have to sometimes stop myself from thinking about these days too much because it makes me sad and a bit depressed really.  My life is so totally completely different that the juxtaposition of my two lives leaves my head spinning.  I spend most of my time now either preparing meals - sigh-, cleaning a house - sigh-, trying to entertain and discipline children - sigh- and trying in vane to keep up with the washing - sigh -, not to mention my pursuit of cool - double sigh-.

I then feel very uncool because I actually have a lovely life.  My husband is gorgeous, kind, funny and smart.  My children are divine, beautiful and so so charming.  I have beautiful, clever friends, loving, quirky family and a job made just for me.  My house is lovely and I have been able to see over lots of renovations, which has been so much fun.  I have been overseas in the last year and have been to Sydney and the beach and spent days eating fancy food with my aforementioned lovely, clever friends.  I should be exceedingly happy.

But on the days when the leaves are gone, the clouds are grey, the weather is bleak and temperature drops, it makes me homesick for my life in London.  I guess I will always feel this, and this makes me happy-sad.  Happy because I have those memories and have been so blessed to have had the opportunities I have had, and sad because life changes and eventually one has to realise that one has to grow up.

As I finish this post and ponder where this leaves my homesick heart, my five year old is pretty impressed that she can fit a whole Chicken Crimpy cracker in her mouth whole - I wonder if I can?  Yep, cool, I have impressed a five year old.  I guess there are new things to look forward to....