For there to be cool .... there needs to be UN-cool. Neighbours.

Newton's Third Law of Motion says that, 'For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction'. 


This concept can be found in the coolness realm also.  For there to be cool, there must be uncool.

I think we live next door to the most uncool neighbours on the planet.  They drive me bonkers. They are so totally uncool, it is bloggable. What makes neighbours uncool? Let me give you my list...

1) They don't mow the lawn until they lose their big boof head dogs in the foliage (or a rental inspection is due - whichever comes first)

2) They leave exterior lights on for weeks on end. This is killing our environment and spills light into our cosy house

3) They drive along our footpath to park their bomby cars on their front lawn (this however, does hamper thier grass growth)

4) The 'lady' of the house wears g-strings, precarious bras, stretchy pants and has a wobbly belly, she likes to bend over to pat the dogs (Shudder.....)

5) The 'men' of the house were dealing drugs we thinks. After I called the cops about a domestic dispute and mentioned they were fighting over who owed who how much for the mull, the men left pretty smartly never to be seen again (How many jerry cans is a reasonable number to carry at any one time? These guys had dozens..... Hmmmmm *puzzled look*)

6) The 'lady of the house' doesn't leave the house for days and days on end. There really is no crime here, it is just a bit creepy.  What do you think she does inside all day? Watch Oprah and Dr Phil or is she a Bold & The Beautiful Type? Eat butter straight from the container? Snip things up with scizzors? Train fleas? She doesn't wash often, I know this because when I jump on our trampoline, I can see into their yard at the top of my bounce, and there is never washing on the line. If she just left the house, I could see what kind of state she is in....

7) Once the dodgy dope dealers moved out, we were very relieved, they were seedy lads indeed.  We figured surely she couldn't afford the rent on a dumpy house in a fabulous street with totally cool and groovy neighbours on her own

8) Indeed she couldn't - she excelled herself on the uncoolness spectrum.... She filled the dumpy house in a lovely leafy street with a gaggle of young male uni students. Sigh.