Things you need to be cool....

The pre-claimer to this post is that I do not see myself as cool.  I am stocky, spotty, outspoken but shy, self conscious and intimidated by people who are either better looking than me, thinner than me, smarter than me or more successful than me: this means I am intimidated by just about everyone!


But....


I am beginning to understand cool - a bit...


A friend of mine has been struggling to find her coolness after having kids. She is GORGEOUS, has great hair, great skin and has such a great personality that people want to get to know her more. To me, she has so many things about her that are cool. But she just doesn't see it *sigh*....


Now, let me explain that cool is a combination of things. It is attitude, personality, life experience and then it is outward appearance. So, my dear friend has the first few things down pat. Her attitude is amazing - she will try anything and gives her heart to things that mean a lot to her. She has a great bubbly, quirky personality as previously mentioned. She has had a great deal of life experience from study to having babies to helping kids with stoopid names in some weird way out schools. Basically, I am proud to know her and learn more about grace and kindness every time I have a chat with her.


But still, she feels uncool. And I have surmised that it is her outward appearance she is struggling with.  The other night I suggested she throw out (literally) every item of clothing that she either doesn't like, is really old or doesn't fit quite right - to which she said she would then be walking around naked (not cool in the 'dropping kids off to school' kind of set).


So, for my lovely locked friend, and anyone else out there who is trying to regain some cool, here are some things for you to think about that I have learnt over the past 10 years or so.... Get right back to basics and think through the following things....

• Determine what  'look' are you going for? Like; hippy, conservative, boho, biker, sporty, classic etc.
• Work out which colours suit you?  Think about seasons such as; Summer = aqua, yellow, blues, oranges etc; Autumn = browns, greens, greys etc.
• What items in your wardrobe make you feel good? What items could you not live without? I could not live without jeans, t-shirts and shirt dresses....
• What are the best parts of your body are worth accentuating? I have a waste and I like my hair .... that is where I start every time I have to think about buying items for my wardrobe.

To become cool is about discovering yourself and then investing time into learning more about yourself and your style. Oh, and get your hands on anything written by Trinny & Susannah - a good place to start....

Here are some quotes to get you started on your 'Cool Quest'...

You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition.  What you'll discover will be wonderful.  What you'll discover is yourself.  
Alan Alda (I know that Alan Alda is Hawk-eye from M.A.S.H - but you know.....)

The most beautiful thing in the world is, precisely, the conjunction of learning and inspiration. Oh, the passion for research and the joy of discovery! 
Wanda Landowska




May the cool force be with you.....


Coming up next time on bbeingcool - Rules for Shopping

Style Vs Cool - A Pictorial Introduction...

According to the Style Scout in London - the following two images are of 'stylish' people.....

I think that if I walked out of my bedroom dressed like this, Mr Cool would spit espresso out of his nose and Miss 3 would run into the playroom to play dress ups as well. I do not think this is cool and I am now puzzled as to what constitutes 'style'.


There is a very cool blog called, 'What I Wore Wednesday' - which, as the name suggests, is where people send in photos to the website 'The Pleated Poppy' of, you guessed it, what they wore on a ... ahem... Wednesday. I wish oh wish oh wish I had come up with this blessedly cool idea...


There are pages after page after page of cool outfits and deliciously cute shoes..... I could have chosen a squidzillion pictures of cool - but I picked out these few as examples - feel free to click on over and check out more outfits.... 

I know that these outfits tick boxes of where I am at at the moment. I look for clothes that are cute, functional and can carry through from dropping kids to school, going out for coffee (because I do that ALL the time, pfft....) and to popping into the shops. I like a bit of quirk, a lot of colour and, of course, great shoes.


But, cool is also about personality I think and I guess I appreciate when someone can dress to show their personality without having to stand out and raise eyebrows. I also like it when things match.... I can't avoid that.


I am going to continue to explore the difference between 'Cool' and 'Style'. I am not looking for a Nobel Prize people, it is nice for brain to have a chew toy.... 

So, am I cool?

I have been baffled by the whole concept of cool. When I first had the idea for this blog, I must have been feeling pretty hip, pretty happening; but now, a few months down the track, I wonder if I would know cool if it hit me in the face. This is not an invitation for those cool people out there to actually hit me in the face, by the by.

So I thought I would ask around. But who to ask? My friends are all too lovely and would tell me that I am, in fact, very cool and give me reasons etc etc, but it is not the same as asking someone who would tell me the truth no matter how much it hurt. So I asked Friend #1, who instantly said that of course I am cool, but there are various notions of what that means. He stated that to a surfing, tattooed, mud-wrestling hippie - I may be the epitome of boring. But, to another full time mum, part time teacher with a deep desire to be cool, I may rate higher on the cool scale. He also said that I need to define the difference between style and cool - it was then that my brain started hurting and I asked him to please pass the salt.

I asked my sisters. Who else could really know me and have a historical point of view of who I truly ruly am? I sent each of them a text simply asking if I was cool and would explain why I needed to know at a later date (I am too chicken to mention my blog to them....) Sister #2 did not reply - and the reasons for this could be two fold; 1) She thought my question was stupid, or, 2) She had been eaten my her neighbour's feral children. Sister #1 replied as bluntly as expected and said that no, I am not cool, but more along the lines of cute and quirky.

Herein lies the conundrum. I have been working my whole life at being cute and quirky, because I think that these are cool qualities. So I can only surmise that cool is individual. Of course there are some universally cool things out there and also some things that are anti-cool (see previously posted lists), but I believe it basically comes down to individualism and how this is portrayed.

One of my friends, who I believe is cool, collects things, not Snoopy McDonalds toys, but fine China and black t-shirts - I think this need to collect is cool. Another friend, who I believe to be cool, will wear the same Ben Sherman t-shirt until it is thread bare and then buy a brand new t-shirt - I think this thriftiness and sense of style is very cool. Another friend again, is obsessed with craft: she scraps, she sews, she cooks AND she writes two blogs - passion is cool.

Therefore coolness is acting out your personality not dependent on trends or fashion, but simply on a core sense of being true to one's self. This is my quest - and coolness is my Holy Grail.... Should I mention here that Monty Python rates below moulding fruit on my cool scale?