I really love going for bushwalks, as you may have seen yesterday. On our recent bushwalk I had a few moments where I actually got to enjoy the silence of the bush and let my mind wander. I love looking ahead and seeing a bend in the path and wondering what is coming up. I love knowing that you can't quite see the next part of the journey.
I do love the mystery that life holds, wondering what things lie just ahead for me. I love dreaming of adventures. I love having adventures. I love planning the adventure, writing lots of lists of this and that. I love packing and organising things. I love airports, train stations, ferry terminals and toll booths. I get excited about airline meals and food sold at roadhouses. I love working out daily plans and googling touristy things to do. I love eagerly counting down the days until departure. I love looking forward.
In my life, I look forward a lot. I look forward to BabyCool being a bit more independent {and sleeping until 6:30am}. I look forward to Miss Z being a bit more emotionally robust. I look forward to Miss A being able to put her own winter uniform on. I look forward to going away on holidays. I really look forward to retirement - I know, I know, I really really like looking forwards a LONG time in advance.
BabyCool's sock. I had kind of an epiphany. If I had not turned around and looked back, I would never have found BabyCool's sock. I know, it was a sock. He has dozens. But, still. Had I not turned around at that point and looked at what I had left behind, I would have missed where we dropped the sock and we would have only noticed later when we were far away from that point.
How many times in my life have I been so busy looking forward to the next adventure that I have forgotten to turn around and look at where I have been? I stood and stared at this sock. It meant a lot. It was a good reminder to take the time to take stock and to look at the path behind to understand better the path ahead.
As I look behind me, along the journey I have travelled in life, I can see so much happiness; a great childhood, study, marriage, teaching, travel, children, friends, houses, chickens.... I have a lovely blessed life. There have been great times of sadness too; feeling misunderstood, sickness, depression, marriage break-ups in my family and amongst dear friends, natural disasters and sick children. But, the road behind me is green and leafy more than brown and barren.
Adventure is what I miss most at this stage in my life. Being a stay at home mum can be boring, repetitive, frustrating and lonely. But, adventure comes in all sorts of forms these days. I can't just jump on a plane and find myself in an exotic place for the weekend, or forego meat for the week so I can buy a gorgeous Benetton shirt. It is not just me I have to think about. Watching my girls enjoying time at the museum, seeing them swim an entire length of a swimming pool, hearing them tell their grandparents that they love them or eating donuts and pink milk in a cafe gives me {almost} the same thrill as riding a ferris wheel in Amsterdam or eating Pizza in a tiny cafe in Florence {I ate a LOT in Europe}.
I do love my life. I am blessed. Life is cool. Love it. Live it. Share it.
1 comment:
What a thoughtful/meaningful post B. Well done with the 'stop to take stock of the sock' being a great metaphor for life. I feel pretty much the same way at times, but tend to live very focussed on the present which means I do far less dreaming these days...and that's not exactly the best idea. But looking back...man oh man! Blessings on blessings!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lovely family adn friends...os adventures.....happy moments (too many mention)....God's hand in so many ways gently prodding and directing....much 'joy in the journey'....a reminder that He has been faithful will continue to be! Thanks for your thoughts here.
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