So, am I cool?

I have been baffled by the whole concept of cool. When I first had the idea for this blog, I must have been feeling pretty hip, pretty happening; but now, a few months down the track, I wonder if I would know cool if it hit me in the face. This is not an invitation for those cool people out there to actually hit me in the face, by the by.

So I thought I would ask around. But who to ask? My friends are all too lovely and would tell me that I am, in fact, very cool and give me reasons etc etc, but it is not the same as asking someone who would tell me the truth no matter how much it hurt. So I asked Friend #1, who instantly said that of course I am cool, but there are various notions of what that means. He stated that to a surfing, tattooed, mud-wrestling hippie - I may be the epitome of boring. But, to another full time mum, part time teacher with a deep desire to be cool, I may rate higher on the cool scale. He also said that I need to define the difference between style and cool - it was then that my brain started hurting and I asked him to please pass the salt.

I asked my sisters. Who else could really know me and have a historical point of view of who I truly ruly am? I sent each of them a text simply asking if I was cool and would explain why I needed to know at a later date (I am too chicken to mention my blog to them....) Sister #2 did not reply - and the reasons for this could be two fold; 1) She thought my question was stupid, or, 2) She had been eaten my her neighbour's feral children. Sister #1 replied as bluntly as expected and said that no, I am not cool, but more along the lines of cute and quirky.

Herein lies the conundrum. I have been working my whole life at being cute and quirky, because I think that these are cool qualities. So I can only surmise that cool is individual. Of course there are some universally cool things out there and also some things that are anti-cool (see previously posted lists), but I believe it basically comes down to individualism and how this is portrayed.

One of my friends, who I believe is cool, collects things, not Snoopy McDonalds toys, but fine China and black t-shirts - I think this need to collect is cool. Another friend, who I believe to be cool, will wear the same Ben Sherman t-shirt until it is thread bare and then buy a brand new t-shirt - I think this thriftiness and sense of style is very cool. Another friend again, is obsessed with craft: she scraps, she sews, she cooks AND she writes two blogs - passion is cool.

Therefore coolness is acting out your personality not dependent on trends or fashion, but simply on a core sense of being true to one's self. This is my quest - and coolness is my Holy Grail.... Should I mention here that Monty Python rates below moulding fruit on my cool scale?

Never Cool

These are the things that I think are not and never will be cool (mark my words)

1) Snot
2) Smoking
3) Kids who swear
4) Bad Breath
5) Badly fitting jeans
6) Mono-brows
7) French Toilets
8) Creeping Underwear
9) Telemarketers
10) Cellulite

Always Cool

I am really into making lists. I list everything; the jobs I do in a day (I will go back through my diary to add things I have done, just so that I can put a neat little tick beside each one), shopping lists, holiday job lists etc etc etc. So, given my passion for lists, I thought I would, over the life of this blog, compile some lists of things I think are timelessly cool.

Endlessly Cool Fashion Items - Gals

1) Almost anything on sale...
2) Jeans - don't worry about brand or price, go for what is flattering - if you can find this at K-mart - bless your cotton socks - I cannot...
3) Esprit - classic cuts, cute t-shirts and the best jeans for my rounded bottom
4) Converse - classic sneakers, great with jeans and a hoodie
5) Op Shop items - can be one off amazing things
6) Flat patent black shoes - even better with buttons or buckles, worn with jeans, trousers, dresses and skirts - very cute!
7) Scarves - I have a fav scarf bought in London, but am going to explore different types of scarves as part of my look
8) Tights - make the legs look longer and I feel give my butt a nice little lift if wearing a straight-ish skirt
9) Cute t-shirts - choose quirky designs or added bits like buttons or screen print, great with denim skirt and Havianas for a summer afternoon in a park
10) Trench Coat - mine is Ben Sherman - just had to add that, trenches are a great midseason item as well as being able to be worn over cute argyle vests or sweaters. Or team with items 2,4,6 and 7 for a cute outfit for the school run...

Okay, so where to start?

I began this blog with gusto, had lots of ideas, began a list and then.... got a wee bit of a freak out. Am I cool? I asked Friend #1 and his pause was a whisker too long and left me pondering.... Who am I to determine cool? Am I able to discover this and follow through with this crazy project I have given myself? I have since begun speaking to people about 'being cool' and have become baffled as to what it means.

Wikipedia tells me that cool people have three things in common, they are confident, unique and friendly. I want to run and hide under the bed right now: thus I am not confident. I tend to like what everyone else likes: thus not unique and although I would love to think of myself as friendly: I am shy and can be a bit aloof (thanks again Friend #1). I guess the whole point of me pursuing coolness is to push myself out of my comfort zone to become the person I should be.

But really, who am I to assume that I am cool? I don't own a Hermes handbag, I don't wear Lancome lipstick, I cannot walk in high heals (let alone afford Bally shoes), and Louis Vuitton reminds me of Chinese tourists and the black market ring in Paris (one day I may tell you the full version of this cool travel tale). The things I think are cool, others may not. The things others think are cool, I may not. So where does that leave me and my blogging dream?

A friend I spent some time with recently shared her thoughts on my blog about being cool. She thought it was cool to write a blog about persuing coolness, saying that this was daggy in a cool kind of way, which is in itself cool. Another friend said that there are some things that are just universally cool, like Converse sneakers, but I am not sure about whether Friend # 386 thinks these are cool, and she is cool.... (please note that I do in fact have a pair of silver Converse sneakers). My mum laughed when I mentioned my ideas and asked 'why can't I just try to be 'normal' for once?'

It has taken months of agonising and deflecting questions about my next instalment, and I still don't have an answer as to why it has taken so long to add more to my little blog about not much. But, here I go, into the unknown... I just don't want to be a choker. A choker who may end up telling a heavy breathing counsellor in a dingy office in a deserted inner city building that I once began a blog and live with the regret as the only thing I end up following through with is keeping homeless hairless cats and sending love letters to a man in jail..... No, I must pursue coolness... My own version of cool. Stay tuned and watch this space, something cool may just happen to me soon.

Madly trying to be cool....

I have always wanted to be cool. As a child I used to dream of leaving my life, moving to somewhere glamourous and returning to my roots .... cool. You know the 'right' sunglasses, fabulous shoes, just the right haircut and clothes that made others wish bad things against you. Unfortunately, I was raised by parents who by their own definition thought they were cool and I really thought they were cool. I thought it was cool that my dad wore scuff sandals with long socks to church, I thought it was cool that my mum used to wear tartan trousers...... Where is the foundation for hope for someone who dreams of being cool?

Some of this tale is true... I did leave my home town, moved to the Sunshine Coast (pretty cool) then moved to London (very cool) and then returned to my hometown. Was I glamourous? Was I hip? No, I was pregnant.... A lovely friend described me as a Walvus Vrouw, he kindly looked up a Dutch dictionary to find just the right words to call me a Whale Woman in my parent's native tongue. Not cool, at this point.

I have since been on a journey of discovering who I am, again. Things do change once you have had kids... Size changes (down for me, ha ha ha), budget changes and of course, fashion changes. I am trying to work out how to not only be cool, but happy and how to make this contagious. Thus, this blog. I want to share my quest for coolness and how life turns one's best intentions a-about.