This year, I think my name might be showing up on a friend's 'Clean Out List'. I think it is coming to a time when she has moved on and will move in different circles and those circles may not include me.
This year has been a SHOCKER - for both of us. Hers has been epic in the relationship side of life and mine has been epic in state of mind and a life throwing curve-balls kind of way. It is a real shame that we have both had such hard years, it would have been better had we taken turns, but life didn't give us that option.
When I rank our woes, hers far outweigh mine. She has had to look at a complete lifestyle change. Her life will never be the same again. My year in comparison has just been messy, lots of ups and downs, but my base line has always been pretty good. I have been fighting to maintain equilibrium, and this has been hard in its own way.
I don't want to lose this friend. I really don't. She has been a friend for a really long time, around twelve years. We are similar enough that we can talk deeply about things, and different enough that we can still find things to talk about. We have held each other's babies, camped together and talked for way too long on the phone.
But, this year, there have been some things we haven't always seen eye to eye on. We have misinterpreted each other. I have said some things that she wasn't ready for and vice versa. It has been a tough road for our friendship.
I really hope that her 'Clean Out List' does not have my name on it. It wouldn't surprise me if it is though, some things do come to an end. I just hope this is not one of those things.
I am linking up with Write on Edge for RemembeRED...
Think of a time that you “cleaned house.” Consider the subtext—we’re not writing about Windex here. We’re writing about relationships. Or feelings. Or a captured moment in time.
Consider how dialogue and body language bring the moment to life for the reader.
And let’s shoot for around 300 words.
See you for the link-up on Tuesday!
16 comments:
Been there. It's not a fun feeling. Not at all. I hope for you that your instincts are wrong and that your long time friend understands that life can happen to two people at inconvenient times. Happy holidays. Visiting from WOE...
I liked how you laid this out. I would have liked a little more detail, because what you indicated that your friend went through didn't really seem all that horrible. However, I understand the need for protecting confidentiality.
Maybe your friend just needs a break, to step away and think about what really matters. Or maybe you do. This is difficult, no matter why. Hang in there!
I cut so much of this story out to hit the 300 word limit, which is really not very many words for such a long and drawn out story. But... the story continues in real life... It is going to be a journey and not something that is going to be easy. My dear friend is on a tough road.
I've totally been here...hubby and I had a couple that we spent all of our time with. Then we moved, and life got crazy, and before you knew it we were exchanging phone calls or e-mails maybe once a year. It's painful to lose someone you were once so close to!
It ia hard to keep up friendships at a distance. I actually found old friends on Facebook and I enjoy the small update. We tend to outgrow and move on even with our closest friend. It is sad.
Isnt' that hard? I have been on both sides of the "clean up list" and you remember what was, not necessarily what is.
Time helps. Sometimes simply spending less time together helps you remember what made the relationship so special in the first place.
Maybe you should send her to this post? It's difficult the turns life takes especially when our paths change direction and we lose friends along the way. :)
Hopefully not! Friendships are hard to maintain in the best of times. I hope you guys figure it out.
This is such a tricky situation! Where you can see both sides, but feel powerless to fix and change.
I admire your ability to step back and see things with such a wide open lens!
Oh this is so tough! I have been on both ends of it. Sometimes people just grow in different directions. Hopefully, you two care enough for one another to get beyond your difference in opinion, and perhaps even learn from the criticism.
I had this happen when I had Ryan and my best friend at that time miscarriaged. I had no idea what that feeling was like and everything I did reminded her of what could of been. That was 7 years ago now and she now has two children and we are only just beginning to develop that friendship again. For a while I just had to accept that we would be traveling in different circles for a while and hope that our paths would cross again sometime, and they did! Hang in there.
Whoah! It's like you took a page out of my life. I've been dealing with something similar to your situation. Mine did not end well. I hope yours does. I found you on RemembeRED.
good post
good post
good post
good post
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